Sweeping over the country, like rats to a plague, is the just as vicious, Groomzilla virus.
What once was unique to the female population, is now commonly seen in men, purely popping the question so they can get their chance to throw the biggest party their mates have ever seen.
Common symptoms to look out for:
- Justification of outrageous costs
- Growing guests lists
- Demanding ways, especially when it comes to activities that involve alcohol
- Commonly picking faults with everything that doesn’t meet his standards
I must admit that I should’ve noticed the early symptoms. But it was only when I mentioned a ‘small, low key wedding’ that I realised I was marrying a Groomzilla of the worst kind.
For starters, men are always right so there’s absolutely no reasoning with them. However, what I find most astonishing is their ability to remove $$ from the wedding dress and bridesmaid budget and add it to the ‘Recovery Party’ budget.
Commonly used phrases that alert me to an upcoming Groomzilla tantrum:
- “What’s a party with 3 people? A party with 30 people, now that’s a party.”
- “We’re going to spend the money one day, we may as well go all out.”
- “If we just cut some money out of your wedding dress that should allow for a few extra people”
- “No! But we have to invite them, we have beers together at the pub”
- “The Recovery Party makes the wedding, we’ve gotta spend just as much”
- “Cant you just do your own makeup?”
So far my methods of reasoning with the Groomzilla include:
- Walking out of the room
- Hanging up the phone
- Waving our ‘Wedding Budget’ spreadsheet in front of him
Despite my efforts, the Groomzilla is continuing to grow in strength. I have doubts that there will be any of my innocent Billy left by the time we hit July 2018.
Wish me luck.